6/13/2017 – 12:49am- 6 lbs 9oz
6/13/2017 – 12:49am- 6 lbs 9oz
Hi! I am back. As you know our little guy made it into our world last month on June13th, just a few days after my last post. He was born @ 12:49am and weighed 6 pounds 9 ounces. i can’t believe its already been a month since his arrival. It has been the best and hardest month of my entire life.
I am the type of person who does’t particularly likes surprises so I always tend to over prepare or educate myself as much as I can. And preparing for the arrival of this little boy was no exception. I did a lot of reading about labor, and new borns, I joined multiple boards, subscribed to parenting magazines, read all the major books, and started following as many other new, first time mommy bloggers I could find. I found it really helpful to read and hear real life experiences and how they managed everything. I couldn’t get enough of reading and learning everything I could. I wanted to feel prepared. And while I felt a little at ease knowing that these other women had done it, there for I could too, I can attest that no matter how much you prepare for life with a new baby (as a fist time mom) there is nothing that can TRULY prepare you.
The first week was a total mind F! My labor was 24 hours, then followed by a two day stay in the hospital due to some mandatory tests that had to be ran on Easton that by the time I got home I was so sleep deprived. Add to that the fear & doubt that makes its way into your mind, the hormone imbalance, and the colossal sense of emotions that came over me, I felt totally and utterly overwhelmed. However, I was lucky to have help for the first 9 days, so I was really able to sleep when he slept and I have to say, this really saved me. After every nap, I felt better and better.
I read so many articles about PPD and heard from so many moms that after the baby comes you spend a lot of time crying that I decided to encapsulate my placenta. I was/am so paranoid of PPD that I am willing to do what ever it takes to keep it at bay. I am not sure if they did the job, but I can tell you that one day I did not take them and I was a total wreck. Maybe it’s a placebo effect or maybe they really do their job, but either way, I am happy I did it. As far as the crying, I thought nah, that won’t be me (after all I am not an overly emotional person). Well, for the first two weeks I cried A LOT. I couldn’t really pinpoint what was making me cry and my brain just seemed to go blank while I did, that I think it was just my bodies way of releasing all the bottled up emotions and tense energy that built up each day so I just gave into the emotion and just allow myself to do it. I pretty much cried every time I had a few minutes alone like, in the shower. Now, one month into it, I can’t think of the last time I cried. I’m finally starting to feel a lot better. I’ve relaxed about everything and I’ve started to venture out with him to test his temperament and so far so good.
When it comes to breast feeding, boy was I naive. This is the area where I did the least amount of research. I’ve known a lot of girls who have breastfed and none of them ever mentioned any issues at the time so I assumed it was going to be innate for both of us. Once I started talking abut my challenges I found out that almost all of them encountered some sort of challenge along the way too, but never talked about it. Well I wish they would have because nursing has been my biggest challenge from day one. Easton lost 8% of his body weight when he was born and he wasn’t gaining any of it back by the time we left the hospital. The nurses freaked me out so much so that I was topping him off with 20ml of formula after every feeding by the time we left the hospital . When I got home the first thing I did was schedule a home visit with a lactation consultant to get help with both the (excruciating) pain and to address milk transfer. Turns out my little guy has a stiff jaw and it’s causing him to clench down and he’s compressing my nipple which is the cause of the pain and affecting the transfer. Then we had our first pediatrician appointment where I relaxed a little bit and stopped the formula. But after his two week check up, the doctor became concerned that he was not gaining his weight back fast enough (Well that sent me into a panic!) and he had me supplement with 4-5 ounces of formula each day for 5 days, and to exclusively pump and feed 2 ounces per feeding to rule to something with him and confirm if it was a transfer issue during feedings. Well at his next weight check he had surpassed his birth weight by 3 ounces confirming that it was a transfer issue. At that point I asked to stop the formula and I made the decision to rent a hospital grade pump and bottle pace feed him breast milk for the time being . Even though bottle feeding & pumping is super time consuming, it was the best decision ever! He is slowing gaining weight! At this point we are still nursing twice a day so that he doesn’t get used to having a bottle exclusively, but when we do nurse, he is still insatiably hungry after 20 minutes so I have to give him bottle with an ounce & a half of breast milk. I am hoping as he grows his latch will get better and we can switch to mostly nursing.
I was sick of moms telling to “get sleep now because it’ll be a long time before you get good sleep again”. Every time a mom said that to me I wanted to slap them. But it’s true, LOL. However, for me it has been a little easier. Other than recovering the first few days postpartum, I’ve adjusted pretty well. But let me preface that by saying, I’ve never been very sleep dependent or required 8/10 hours. I have always lived off of 5-6 good hours of sleep and actually felt lethargic if I slept longer. Easton has been good to me at night too, he sleeps 2.5-3 hour stretches.. And since we are bottle feeding him, his eating schedule is pretty predictable. I usually feed him at 9-9:30pm, I go down with him after that feeding, then we’re up at 11:30-12is am, put him down after his bottle at which point, I will pump and then we sleep until 2:30-3am and do it again, I get to bed around 3:30/4am and Pete will usually take the 5/6am feeding (unless he has early cases) so I get to sleep from then until about 6/7 sometimes 8am. That’s where I get my good sleep. This has worked out well for us and on the days where I have to take that 5/6am feeding I can totally tell the difference on how tired I am.
Overall, this first month was all about Learning and building trust as we are all adjusting to this new life. I am leaning what being a mom means, and also getting to know this new me. Event though I am still the same person, at the same time I have shifted into a completely different person when it comes to my outlook on life and my priorities, and I’m also learning how to process all of these new emotions, thoughts and feelings. Every day I become more confident at his mamà, trust his papà to care for him the same way I do when I need to leave the house and feel more like myself. If you are a new mamà or mama to be, every week gets easier. Let yourself feel the feels and trust yourself. You got this, We got this!
I originally planned on having this post up on Thursday but if there is one lesson I have learned this first month with him, is that he needs me to be ever so present in the moment and this last week he experienced a little growth spurt which meant he needed me constantly.
On Easton- Polo Onsie: Janie & Jack / Blue Onsie