I still can’t believe it. I am freaking pregnant! It was such a long road to get here that sometimes I still can’t believe it, It’s surreal! It took me a while to be able to share it with absolute certainty that I am pregnant AF (I know I don’t look pregnant af) and expecting a bebè in June! It’s nuts! BTW Sorry for all the over sized sweaters and flowy tops but after our long struggle I didn’t want to make the announcement too early just in case I had to write a heart breaking post later. But at some point I guess I had to let go of those fears and just start enjoying this journey. I absolutely there now. I am 18 weeks along and over the last week I started to feel bebè flutter around my belly! I’ve quite become addicted to it, it is just the coolest feeling ever. We know the sex, more on that later, but below I will share a bit of our journey just in case one of you is going through something similar you can be assured that you too will get here.
Okay, where do I start? I guess I’ll start from the very beginning. Pete and I have been together for 9.5 years and when we first started dating we agreed that we both wanted kids, but we wanted to wait a little longer and we agreed to start trying when we turned 35. 35 came, I went off birth control and because I I absolutely hate surprises and because, as we all know and are reminded of it at every corner, 35 is the age that a women’s reproductive system starts to decline rapidly. I immediately booked an appointment with my OB/GYN and requested she run every possible test she could before I started peeing on sticks and being disappointed month after month. My blood work, hormones, egg reserve, follicle count and uterus all came back good. The final test she ran was an HSG (Hysterosalpingography) which checks your fallopian tubes to make sure there aren’t any blockages. It was probably the most painful thing I have every experienced. (I always said I wanted to fair natural birth, but after that test and knowing labor would probably be 10 times worse I have decided that an epidural is probably gonna be needed). Well, guess what? Both of my fallopian tubes are completely blocked! I was so devastated and in disbelief that I waited two months and requested that the terrible test be repeated just to make sure. Nope still blocked. At that time my OB immediately referred us to a fertility specialist because it meant that the only way we could even think about getting pregnant was IVF. I felt really disappointed and even guilty that we would have to go through this and it was all my fault. I know a few couples who had gone through IVF and there for was a little familiar with how emotionally & financially draining the process can be. I also knew from their experiences that IVF was not only not guaranteed to work, but every one had such different experiences that I felt unsure about the entire process anyway. So needless to say, I was really worried, but Pete didn’t skip a beat and put me at ease right away. I remember this clearly. One day while we where at dinner having a discussion about it, he simply said, this is just the path we have to take to have a family. And he was right! I snapped out of my funk and we moved forward, found the right doctor (This is where we made a costly mistake) and started our journey. Now, two years later all the needles, doctors appointments, medications, failed attempts and sad days are all so distant. BTW this was our last embryo our last chance before we had to make another difficult decision.
I’ll leave it at that. But I am excited to share this journey with you and If you want to know more abut the IVF process and our experience I’m happy to share with you.
T: Etsy / Jeans: Rag & Bone boyfriend jeans